Before we say or do anything we have a thought in our mind first, or an image. While we plan to raise a child we have an image of a child in our mind, an image of the Ideal Child. It shows us what our real child is supposed to look like.
Soloveychik founds the main reason why parenting often fails in many families. It appears that we people also have an image of the Ideal Man, who our child is supposed to grow up to be in the future. The quality of a Child is dependence. The quality of a Man is independence. Here is the contradiction from which confusion and disappointment come if we don’t make special corrections in our mind.