parenting - who sow seeds of evil?

Who Sow the Seeds of Evil?

by Aigul Aubanova on January 6, 2011

in By S.Soloveychik

Of course, we ourselves sow the seeds of evil, nobody else.

Evil is born in the soul of a child more or less as a sickness is.  A medical encyclopedia writes: there are two causes of sicknesses – breaks and defenses.  When a grain of sand flies into an eye, an organism begins to fight it, the eye swells up – it is a battle against the grain of sand, and a man can lose his eye.   Why?  Is it because of the grain of sand?  Or is it because of a defense?

The smallest grains of evil – are our rude, careless touches on the sensitive, subtly organized soul of a child, who, we think, doesn’t understand anything and, therefore, will tolerate everything.  Due to findings of many scientists, people finally learned to wash their hands.  Some mothers hot iron swaddling cloth – they try to protect their child from invisible viruses.  However they may constantly disseminate grains of evil.  Soul, as an organism, doesn’t know limits of necessary defenses, it sees a threat in the smallest raise of a voice, in the slightly discernable discontent of the mother, in a slightly negligent touch, and in a weakening feeling of love -perhaps, and the mother  has just became tired and now doesn’t love too hard.  But the soul of a little child elevates defenses and a seat of defense is born there, a seat of evil.  Sometimes we also reciprocate with the same feeling, we also defend ourselves, and the pendulum swings.  We rapidly run through the tunnel of evil: an evil feeling from inside meets an evil feeling from outside.

But if a vicious feeling born from an invisible grain of evil doesn’t meet a counter feeling then there is no tunnel, the evil feeling dissolves, it disappears.

A healthy and robust three year old girl runs home and shouts to her mother, panting with excitement, “You, you, you are a witch!”

She heard it on the playground.

How is one to answer this?  To beat her so that she wouldn’t dare to talk to her mother in such a way?  What would she grow up to be then if she at three years of age can say this to her mother -to her only mother!  What is with children now that they can say “witch” to a mother!

But the mother replies, “Wow, my darling,” and smiles, “Do you know who you are to me?  You are – my bunny!”

“And you, you are,” the girl is still indignant; “You are … a squirrel!”

That’s it.  Emotion disappears.  There is no tunnel.  There is no evil feeling.

Here is a simple strategy of upbringing – not to counter childish vicious feelings with a vicious feeling of adults, not to create tunnels of evil, and in no way to encroach upon a child.  Then those small vicious emotions, caused by grains of evil, which go toward us, will disappear and dissolve.  But good emotions will find roots; they will turn to virtues, to the quality of character, which themselves will beat possible faults.

If safety of a child is violated and barriers occur on the way of development – evil will evolve in a child.  If a child is strong then evil is expressed as aggression.  If a child is weak and smart, then evil shows as cunning and mischievousness.  If a child is weak and not smart evil reflects as insidiousness and meanness.  The aggression of some children turns into aggression against the whole world; the aggression of other children turns into self-aggression.  They become weak, passive, and lazy.

The answer to the question about the cause of evil can be stated definitely and unequivocally: any encroachment upon a child, upon a man, is evil.  Encroachment causes explicit or implicit fear, and fear causes vicious feelings and qualities.  For centuries a goal of parents was to instill fear in the souls of children.  Together with this fear people sowed seeds of evil and then they said that evil is born with a child and that people must fight it from birth.

In fact the goal of upbringing – is to release a child from fears, and therefore, from evil.

Parenting For Everyone, by S.Soloveychik, Book 2 Part 1 Chapter 40

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