What if a conflict is with siblings, with neighbors, with other adults?
Here, unfortunately, an implacable “law of a cat” works, we can call it so.
…When Matvey was two years old, he carried our kitty by the tail, opened the cat’s mouth, put her behind the carpet and sat on her, and once went and put her in the toilet bowl. Whatever we did, whatever we scolded him, it didn’t help.
But time passed, Matvey grew, and the cat grew. One beautiful day she scratched Matvey’s cheek so that he, crying, ran away from her; and roles changed. Now not the cat escaped but Matvey did, he ran away from her, and with such speed! Jumping and springing!
Here is the law of a cat: Nobody from outside can improve a relationship between two people. It is better not to intrude.
If a boy behaves badly with grandma, then we, of course, can accuse him that he is a bad grandson, why not? It seems to us that we made something useful, restored justice, and cleaned our conscience. However, the matter doesn’t change. The relationship between grandma and grandson completely depend on the grandma.
Parenting For Everyone, by S.Soloveychik, Book3 Part 2 Chapter 18