Parenting advice to a mother of 3 year old.
Q.Describe your child.
A.My daughter is 3 years old, extremely smart, and very obsessed with cleanliness, she is very shy, but loves outdoors, enjoys reading stories, and has a very big imagination and create her own stories.
Q.Describe the situation, where you need advice.
A.She cries a lot, since she was born we had such a difficult time with her, and now she is 3 and still. She wakes up crying all the time, anything happens she would cry…she is very polite and obedient but this crying is very annoying, and people are getting annoyed from her as well.
Q.What is your parental goal?
A.I want her to start dealing with things without the tears and be better around others.
Q.How much time during a day do you communicate with your child?
A.about 2-3 hrs a day
Q.How good is your child?
Q.How honest is your child?
Q.How kind are you to your child?
Q.How fair are you to your child?
Your daughter is a very interesting girl. You did a good job raising her developing her imagination and creativity. It is a great advantage, which you can also use for solving the crying problem.
Of course the data you provided is not enough and we have some questions to clarify your situation: what exactly happens before she cries?
We suggest, ask her about her feelings and most importantly, listen to her answer! Listen to her stories, which may tell you a lot. Perhaps she has internal difficulties, which make her afraid of something that you are not aware of.
Of course crying is annoying, but put yourself in her shoes – do you think she wants to cry? No, at her age she can’t pretend, or want to be unhappy. Naturally children strive for happiness. Most likely she is very sensitive to things, which you as her mother and other adults don’t notice.
Your girl needs you, your love and acceptance. However, recently you may show your frustration about her crying and she receives it as she isn’t good enough for you, which makes her have a real reason to be unhappy.
Don’t be embarrassed too much about what people think of you when your daughter cries. Think in advance of how you can distract her from feeling unhappy. Make her happy!
Be attentive in the morning – how she wakes up – what makes her unhappy? She is such a lovely girl! How can it ever be possible that she is afraid of something? Be as tender as possible, praise her for a being obedient and clean. This is a blessing! Many parents complain that their children didn’t learn to be clean, but your daughter is an example of a girl, who will not give her mother a reason to be ashamed. So be proud! Obsessive behavior may be the result of her great imagination, that is a gift, which, if properly developed, may bring her a lot of happiness in the future, because imagination and inquisitiveness are gifts of the soul. She is extremely smart. So she senses everything that you think about her. She knows that you don’t consider her 100% good. That is a parental mistake. You need to believe in your daughter, that she is 100% good (and a normal, stable, strong) girl, instead of judging from what you see. Remember:
We don’t believe in children not because they are bad, but they become bad because we don’t believe in them. S.Soloveychik
So, please give us more information if you think we are wrong in our analysis of the situation.
Patience is a virtue. Crying will stop when your girl will get enough of what she needs. Find out what she needs! Be patient. She deserves your patience, she is such an adorable girl!