Bored girl - parents need parenting advice

8 Year Old Gets Bored Easily

by Aigul Aubanova on January 20, 2011

in Parenting Advice

Parenting advice to a mother of 8 year old, who is always busy

Q1. Describe your child.

A. My daughter is 8 yrs old going to nine in February. He is a very busy girl. She is always doing something and she does not know how to be quiet for a minute. She wants to have something to do all the time and gets bored very easily. At school she is quite good and she competes in swimming and earns medals. She does not have any brothers and sisters but she has loads of activities in her life. I love her with all my heart but she sometimes irritates me a lot.

Q2. Describe the situation, where you need advice.

A. She always wants to be the centre of attraction and she hates staying quiet.

Q3. What is your parental goal?

A. Make her listen more and obey us more. She is always ignoring me.

Q4. How much time during a day do you communicate with your child?

A.From the afternoon onwards, till 9pm.

Q5. How good is your child? On a scale of 1-10, 10 is very good.

A.Good heart but sometimes rude, 5.

Q6. How honest is your child?

A. 7

Q7. How kind are you to your child?

A. 7

Q8. How fair are you to your child?

A. 9


Children do irritate us parents sometimes. But we need to remember that irritation is the first sign of vanishing love. (If you look inside yourself at the time of being irritated you find no love in your heart, because when you are irritated you hate your child. Think about that.) However, we all learn to love.

What helps, is to think about the child: is she guilty? Is this – her genuine intention to make your life worse? Is your daughter guilty that she doesn’t have siblings to play with? Does her energetic nature have an evil intention to make you miserable?

According to the little information you provided we see that your child is a very good and healthy girly in terms of her busy life (and you did a good job raising her as such!) She is at the age when everything interests her and her imagination. Use her imagination to positive activities, which would satisfy you both: invent quiet games, play intellectual games (crosswords etc), invite neighbor kids over to play, etc. A lot for you to think of if you want your child to grow with her urgent NEEDS met. Otherwise it is unfair to your child.

Now, think: if you are not 100% “kind” to your child, why can’t you expect your daughter to be “rude” back to you? Who is in charge of your relationship with your child? Usually it is the adult who is in charge. You need to learn about children needs (for heart and intelligence security and development, which is a huge topic, explained in S.Soloveychik’s book Parenting For Everyone. )

There is another thing though: you can just shut the girl’s mouth and threaten her by punishing etc, etc. But in the long run you might not wish these methods to be used. Your daughter may lose her interest in life, which is the best natural gift. As a parent you can use her creatively to form her spirit, instead of killing it.

If you have anything to add to the picture you are welcome to write to us more.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Penny August 21, 2012 at 9:47 am

I am the mother of an 8-yr old boy who is going to be 9 in May. Alexander is a good child,but he is always bored and constantly wants to go to someone’s house t play video games.He has an older brother who is 13 and he always wants to hang around his brother and his friends. Any suggestions

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UpParent August 21, 2012 at 10:30 am

Stop worrying about the boy and be happy about your own life. When the boy sees adults interested and having passion about their lives he will find his own. Let him be. There is nothing wrong with him.

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Lee Thomas October 20, 2013 at 12:49 am

Hi,

I have a 7 year old Daughter who is currently living with my parents as my Husband and I is presently working abroad. As I learned and observed based on her behavior and attitude during the times that we were together as Family, I would like to answer you above questions one by one:
Answer Q1:
My Child is a very cheerful little girl and she is a loving and passionate to US and keeps on saying the She will always love US. She never fail to say those sweet messages to US. But sometimes she gets jealous immediately when we are on something like we greet another child (whatever ages) then she will start ignoring us and she make it sure that we will notice that she is trying to ignore us. She loves to play, really likes reading books aloud. She always drop jokes that she got from TV programs. Right now she is in 2nd Grade for which my Mom keeps on telling me that she is lack of attention and interest in learning even while she is in tutorial after school. Actually she started in public school on her 1st Grade and I transferred her to Private Catholic school. All her classmates on this 2nd Grade have started at the same school (my Daughter is the only transferree). And her quizzes and exams are all in low scores and she sometimes gets zero.
Answer Q2:
I want her to have a long span of attention and focused on what is being said especially in school class. Then maybe if she would have been in good attention in her class I bet she would have gotten a good score on all her exams.
Answer Q3: To get her listens and learn what is being taught by Teacher and what is being said about her homeworks by her Grandmother.
Answer Q4:
Every time I get a chance to talk to her online (once a week). But there were times that I tried to teach her some of her homework but she was not paying attention and always forget what I was telling her.
Answer Q5:
Rate of 10-She has a good heart and prefers to be mischievous most of the time.
Answer Q6: Rate of 7
Answer Q8: Rate of 7
Answer Q9: Rate of 8

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Aigul Aubanova October 25, 2013 at 7:32 pm

In the situation where you are far away from your everyday’s child routine the only thing, and the best thing, you can do is to keep a great faith in your child, that she is good and everything will be alright with her. Love unconditionally!
I believe a grandmother does her best too, and yet, you cannot change anything being in distance, except believe in your mom either. Your worry only may be sensed even in the distance and bring no help. Schools nowadays are not perfect. Let them too do their best and you stop worry. Sometimes best scores don’t guarantee the best happy life in the future.
Your daughter’s sensitivity for “love” does say that it is something you need to assure her immensely, this is what she lacks and you should worry about. After she gets enough of feeling being loved she will thrive and her school results improve automatically. According to your evaluation your daughter is kinder than you. Isn’t this something? She will be happy not because of her school scores but because she is able to love. Just be kind and loving parent, who “knows” that your daughter is a good girl no matter what, make her laugh and bring her as much joy as you can from abroad!

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