Honestly speaking, it is very frustrating when someone says “Be happy!” when you are not. When a new born cries, when a four year old throws tantrums, when a teenager rebels against you, and on the top of this, your spouse just left you – how is it possible to stay happy?
No, it is not possible. Because our emotional state is not a stick with two ends: on the one end is unhappiness and on the other is happiness. There is a range of emotions in between. So, we don’t offer you to put on a “happy face” mask when you are unhappy. We suggest you gradually gain your sense of power in your mind.
When you realize that you really want to change the way you parent your child then the work begins. It must be your decision to start helping yourself to improve your mood. Take time and in your mind imagine yourself feeling powerless, say facing a rebellious four year old. All you want at this moment is to get your power back. At least some power, some relief. According to Abraham Hicks the next feeling after powerlessness is anger, blame, and revenge. Allow yourself to be angry and in your imagination speak to your imaginary child, or your own parents who taught you this way, as if you were right and they were wrong, blame them for all the sins they have committed, and even allow revengeful thoughts. Despite the common attitude toward anger as very undesirable, it is the next better feeling after total powerlessness. Therefore children rebel and become angry! But if you do your work in your mind, you may avoid destructive action – a real fight and, as a result, feeling guilty and unworthy.
When you release your anger you will feel better- it’s a reason to praise yourself. You were able to increase your feelings toward happiness. You are still far from being happy, but you are more hopeful. Maybe you are still frustrated and sad. Allow yourself to relax and take a break. Allow yourself to dream a little bit. For example, ask yourself, “Wouldn’t it be nice if things start working out for me? Wouldn’t it be nice if my child starts cooperating with me more easily?” If you keep thinking similar thoughts for at least a minute you may notice emotional relief and sparks of hope.
As soon as you have reached a hopeful mindset you may celebrate your mental achievements and you will notice that you are able to think clearer now, and better ideas will come to you regarding to how to talk to your child so that you won’t fight but find peace in your relationship.
In order to help you to find better feeling thoughts we prepared a stream of suggestions, which you can read and apply to your current situation. We call it the Feel Good program. It’s based on Abraham Hicks teaching materials. To facilitate understanding of the emotional scale we split it approximately into seven levels of emotions: powerless(-3)-angry(-2)-frustrated(-1)-neutral(0)-hopeful(+1)-excited(+2)-powerful(+3).
The video presentation below shows why we need this program and how it works.
Instead of an app we offer this guided stream of suggestions as PDF file for those who seek immediate emotional relief. It will work in your parenting as well as any other emotional issues. Each page is suggesting an affirmation, which gradually leads to a better feeling. The emotional scale and examples of matching emotions are shown in the beginning.
If you have questions or feedback, please leave your comment or contact us.