Parenting goal

Parenting Goal

by Aigul Aubanova on January 17, 2008

in Articles for parents

By A.Aubanova, January 2007

What is your parenting goal?

Usually parents think they know the answer. The question sounds so obvious, so simple. What do you want to get while raising your child? Nevertheless, many don’t know the right answer. The analysis of 13661 respondents (www.43things.com/tag/parenting) to the question “What do I want – in parenting?” showed that 46% of people think that their parenting goal is to have children and a family; 30% of the respondents want to be a good parent; 7% have other reasons for parenting (like adoption etc.); 3% have a concrete image of how they will play with their children; and only 1% want to raise their children to become good people!

The details of the report are presented below. We took out of consideration 12% of irrelevant answers. The results are actually telling us that the first thing, which comes to people’s minds when they are asked about parenting is the fact of having children and being a good parent. If this is the case than there is no wonder why there are lots of parental helplessness come later on, after the kids are born, and why there are so many problems and mistakes in parenting. Everyone agrees that parenting is a hard task. But not everyone realizes that the task is hard because there is no clear goal in the whole parenting process.

Not one businessman would begin a business without having a clear goal and a business plan to accomplish that goal. However, a 16 year parenting project is not considered as serious as a business. Well, when a business fails, no one would have the crazy idea to blame the business, or a product for being so bad. Failures in business are the responsibility of the business owner. Failures in parenting is NOT considered as the complete responsibility of parents. Do you know why?

The goal – to have a baby, to have a family – is not a parenting goal. Compare with business: just to have a business license doesn’t make you a successful businessman. In business it is easy to learn – the goal is to make a profit. What makes parent a successful parent? The second group of people answered – to be a good parent – is their parenting goal. Well, what does it mean to be a good parent? It seems as parents are occupied with the idea to be good to children, do everything for their sake. However, again, compare parenting with a business project. What does it mean to be a good business man – to be good for employees, to be good to shareholders, to be good to a product?  In parenting there are three variables: parents, children and their relationship. The goal -to be a good parent – focuses only on one side of the equation, on parents, leaving the other two important variables out.  Therefore we have so many helpless parents trying to find balance between their love and discipline, not knowing what to do with their uncontrolled children.

So, what is the parenting goal?  Many books list a long number of qualities, which parents want their children to acquire during childhood. But there are few common qualities, which most parents agree with. Parents want to raise happy and smart children, who will become confident and responsible adults. If this is the case, then do we know how to fulfill this parenting goal? If you know anyone who could answer this question in one paragraph, you have been misled dramatically. The book Parenting For Everyone by S.Soloveychik has more than 250 letter size pages and this is still not enough to grasp the concept. However, it becomes much clearer to parents – in terms of what they should consider in parenting and how they could reach those parenting goals.

This is a sorted list of answers for the question “What do I want (parenting)” from the internet source www.43things.com/tag/parenting Percentage Total number of people in category Number of people answered Code of category Category name
5. start a blog 436 people 12.25% 1674 436 0 not related
17. make art 295 people 295 0
19. Write for a living 248 people 248 0
21. adopt a dog 233 people 233 0
24. get my ged fast 203 people 203 0
36. learn xml 71 people 71 0
37. business 66 people 66 0
40. write an article 54 people 54 0
49. have a horse 29 people 29 0
50. start an orphanage 27 people 27 0
72. Travel to every State in the USA 5 people 5 0
74. make homebirths legal in Nebraska (and elsewhere) 4 people 4 0
88. astro projection 2 people 2 0
98. HELP MOMS WITH THEIR STRESS PARENTING HEALTHY ENVIROMENTEL HOME 1 person 1 0
1. Have a baby 2431 people 45.63% 6234 2431 1 HAVE children and family
2. Have Kids 1255 people 1255 1
4. have a family 515 people 515 1
9. meet my soulmate 380 people 380 1
10. get pregnant 359 people 359 1
12. have another baby 322 people 322 1
16. start a family 299 people 299 1
22. adopt 208 people 208 1
28. have twins 125 people 125 1
31. become a foster parent 88 people 88 1
33. Be a stay at home mom 87 people 87 1
35. have a kid 76 people 76 1
43. have more kids 43 people 43 1
55. be a daddy 12 people 12 1
56. become a mommy 12 people 12 1
60. baby proof my house 8 people 8 1
64. Have at least six kids 6 people 6 1
70. enjoy my kids more 5 people 5 1
91. decide if I want another baby 2 people 2 1
97. have my own family, but not just yet 1 person 1 1
3. be successful 1032 people 30.43% 4157 1032 2 Be a GOOD parent
6. be a good mother 435 people 435 2
8. be a good father 393 people 393 2
11. be a good mom 342 people 342 2
13. be a better mom 320 people 320 2
14. be a better mother 302 people 302 2
20. be a great mom 237 people 237 2
23. be a mom 204 people 204 2
26. be a better parent 173 people 173 2
27. be a better father 135 people 135 2
29. Be a great dad 119 people 119 2
30. Be the best mom I can be 103 people 103 2
32. be a great father 88 people 88 2
34. be a good parent 80 people 80 2
39. Be a better Dad 55 people 55 2
41. Become a mom 50 people 50 2
51. Be a great dad to my kids 25 people 25 2
53. Be a more patient mother 24 people 24 2
58. be a good auntie 9 people 9 2
68. be a better parent most of the time 6 people 6 2
71. I want to be a better mother 5 people 5 2
75. be a good example to my kids 4 people 4 2
77. BE THE BEST MOTHER I CAN 3 people 3 2
81. stay home with my daughter 3 people 3 2
83. show my daughter that I love her every day 2 people 2 2
84. go to a parenting course 2 people 2 2
85. my kids to know how much I love and appreciate them. 2 people 2 2
87. LizzyleeBorden wants to become a better mother. 2 people 2 2
89. always be best buddys with my daughter 2 people 2 2
7. clean my house 398 people 6.95% 950 398 3 OTHER motivations associated with parenting
15. stop drinking 300 people 300 3
25. find my biological parents 195 people 195 3
38. cook at home more often 57 people 57 3
18. Read Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince 274 people 2.89% 395 274 4 CONCRETE activities/ subcategory of Be a GOOD parent
42. teach my baby sign language 45 people 45 4
46. see Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire 40 people 40 4
57. teach my son to ride a bike 10 people 10 4
62. spend time with my son 7 people 7 4
69. read to my kids every night 6 people 6 4
76. Play with my kids everyday 3 people 3 4
78. teach my son to drive 3 people 3 4
82. teach my kid to read 2 people 2 4
86. read with my kid more 2 people 2 4
90. speak only Spanish to my kids 2 people 2 4
99. teach my baby dog tricks 1 person 1 4
44. Raise kids that are smarter and nicer than me 42 people 1.38% 189 42 5 Thinking of children’s FUTURE
45. inspire my kids 41 people 41 5
47. raise my daughter to believe in herself 39 people 39 5
54. raise my son to be a wonderful man 15 people 15 5
59. Raise my son to be a healthy, happy, and successful adult 9 people 9 5
61. Raise our daughters to be women of virtue 7 people 7 5
63. Encourage My Kids More 7 people 7 5
65. Watch my daughter grow. 6 people 6 5
66. raise my kids to be awesome people 6 people 6 5
67. see my son grow up 6 people 6 5
73. Raise our sons to be men of valor 4 people 4 5
92. raise my kid well 2 people 2 5
93. raise my son to believe in himself and his ability to help make the world a better place 2 people 2 5
94. Raise my sons to be better men than me 2 people 2 5
96. raise a world changer 1 person 1 5
48. potty train my son 30 people 0.45% 62 30 6 SHORT-term tasks
52. breastfeed for 1 yr 24 people 24 6
79. breastfeed my daughter until she wants to stop 3 people 3 6
80. Wean my toddler from her pacifier 3 people 3 6
95. get the baby to sleep in the crib 1 person 1 6
100. brush my baby’s teeth morning and night 1 person 1 6
100.00% 13661 13661 Total number of people

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: