raising one year old - parenting advice

Raise One Year Old

by Aigul Aubanova on October 13, 2010

in Parenting Advice

Parenting advice to a mother of 1 year old daughter.

Q.Describe the situation, where you need advice.

A.I am a single mother and want to give her the skills to become a loving and confident adult

Q.How much time during a day do you communicate with your child?

A.I work full-time so definitely NOT ENOUGH!

Q.How good is your child? (On a scale of 1-10, 10 is very good)

A.6

Q.How honest is your child?

A.n/a

Q.How kind are you to your child?

A.7

Q.How fair are you to your child?

A.7


Here is an analysis from the limited data you provided.

One year old girl. She needs a loving and trusting (fair) environment. If you work and someone else is providing this environment you shouldn’t worry that you spend little time with her. As long as you there, time to time, and infect her with your happy emotions and great faith that she is a very good and smart girl this is enough in your situation.

Two needs children have: need for security and need for development. You make sure these two needs are satisfied. If your child doesn’t behave right, in your opinion, it means the child’s needs were not met properly, or one of the child’s needs is not satisfied. However, security and development don’t only apply to physical security and development.

Heart and intelligence – these two are important as well: security of heart: feeling of being loved, development of heart: ability to love other people; security of intelligence – feeling of being trusted, and development of intelligence – ability to trust others. This stuff may seem complicated, but this is how it is: complex stuff cannot be explained in one sentence.

However, this is basic which will influence all the rest of the child’s life. You may find different parenting books and advice, but most of them will give examples of the same things, without mentioning heart and intelligence. But in order to be a smart mother you need to develop your own intuition, or intelligence, to make the right decisions and not be dependent on other people’s advice.

The fact of single motherhood doesn’t matter too much for raising a good child. Time too is not very important. Your faith and love – this is what matters. However, we all need to learn about love and faith in our children.

From your answer, we see that you don’t think your child is 100% good. Why? As for honesty, you need proof of her honesty. This tells us that you don’t believe that your child is a decent human being. Here is your faith in your child. Face it. She senses that and it is not fair for her. She also senses that she is not good enough for her mother. Later this will show up in her actions and this will be proof of your own belief. Better to believe in your child now and see the result later!

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Shereen January 11, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Thank you very much for being truthful because that’s what I am asking for. You described the situation exactly as it is. I feel that I am the one who acts wrongly, that’s why I asked for your advice and you have been so helpful

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